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Arguements, Anxiety, and Loneliness

Life's been hard on me lately. I have had the misfortune of moving back in with family since I left a job where I was getting harassed. I thought it'd be okay living with my dad. Not great, of course, but okay. Boy was I wrong. I have had many issues with my dad ever since I can remember, but since my mom divorced him, I thought he was getting better. He seemed to actually understand that he was damn lucky that his kids still visited him. I don't think he ever understood that he was verbal abusive to us all. I thought all that shit was done and over with, but of course, I was proven wrong. It had been only two days since I moved back, and it already happened. He blew up and started screaming at me for nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING. He even admitted that I see him more than anyone else in his life and that he was just taking out his issues on me. Admitting this might be a start, but did he apologize or say he wouldn't do it again? No. He never does. He never will.

So now, I'm avoiding where I'm supposed to be living, holding my tongue about shit that matters, and just waiting for a call back from the temp agency that said I'd be working 55 hours a week but has only given me 5 last week. Thank god, I have another place I can crash at, but I really just want some stability. I want to have somewhere where I can feel like I'm home, where I can work on art, and where I can just be me. 2013 was life changing, but 2014 has been off to a very rough start.

I'm just hoping that things get better.



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August 2014
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