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Avoiding my life.

It's been a long time since I've posted on my live journal account. I guess I haven't really wanted to reflect too much on my life since January. My job's been good, but it also hasn't been anything special. I could talk about the people and how they are really an interesting group, but you know... I don't really want to reflect on it. A job's a job. But my life... well... it's just been slipping away. I feel like time is just moving so fast and yet so slow. My time spent just disappears. My time waiting for my new chapter in life is just creeping slowly closer in time.

I've been avoiding my house, avoiding my family, avoiding emotions, but I am surrounded by them all. I need to focus on something, but what? Lol, I really want to focus on sex, but that is nonexistant in my life. Dating has been put on hold. Looking at schools and majors is slowing down. My art still is progressing. My gender dilemmas are hidden because my living situation doesn't allow me to address them. I'm currently living in a small town where anything out of the norm seems to be suppressed. I've thought about going to work in drag, but I don't think that'd go over well even though it's a factory. So right now, I'm just living day to day, trying to figure out if being homeless for a while is better than living where I do. I guess I should just try harder to find a way to live how I want. However, finding a short term (3 month) lease is hard to do.

I also want to cut my hair short an dye it blue. However, my desire to be Beetlejuice for Halloween is stopping me from doing that. Lol! Halloween is my favorite! And I will not ruin my costume. Beetlejuice trumps my fickle hair desires. I think Beetlejuice is what is keeping me sane this year. Years in the past, it's been Meatloaf, Tenacious D, Ernie and Bert, of Phineas and Ferb.



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